This is the important part! There is a specific pattern to confidence, and it can be created by copying what confident people already do naturally.
As with any feeling, there are just three elements to being confident:-
1. The pictures you make in your mind.
How you picture yourself and what you see happening in your future – whether 5 minutes or a year from now – has a huge impact on how you feel. Do you replay images of you ‘failing’ in the past or the future, or do you see yourself succeeding, handling any challenges that come up?
2. How you speak to yourself.
Do you criticise yourself, beat yourself up, say that it’s not possible, that you can’t do it, and talk to yourself in a harsh tone of voice? Or do you support yourself, say that anything is possible, that you can achieve anything with enough effort, and talk to yourself in a loving way? Which would make you feel better about yourself?
3. The feelings you create in your body.
Your physiology – how your body functions – plays a huge part in how you feel. If you are unsure of this, think about someone you know who is confident, and compare them with someone you know who is anxious – the differences are obvious once you know what to look for. To be confident requires you to breathe confidently, to hold your body in a confident manner, to move in a confident way.
Without making a deliberate change in the mind, you will think, feel and do pretty much what you did in a similar situation before. So if you were anxious in a situation before, you will be anxious again, unless you condition your mind to a better alternative …
(photo credit: Nattu | Licensed under the creative commons)
